Saturday, January 24, 2009


In these few months, I've given a lot of thought into death. Yes, death.

Each human will literally die when the heart no longer able to support the body, and when the body deteriorates. What would happen when we are dead? I have been thinking, if, in any reasons I would pass away, what would happen to me? Will my spirit come out from the shell and wonder aimlessly until something comes and take me away? No. I don't believe in that. Gods, ghost, hell, heaven, were all made by the people of the past in order to keep the attitudes, etiquette and orders of the society to be in check.

I always think that, once I died, there will be nothing I can do, or think, just like that. You know what I mean? You can't move, whisper, see, think, you just died. Your existence in this world just end like that. Your body either gets cremated or being decomposed in the soil. You can't feel the pain. It's just too...... I just don't feel like it to die. I keep telling myself, "I don't want to die". However, most old man are willing to die because they do not want to burden their family, besides being unable to do anything to their weak body. By that time, I feel I would better be dead too since I'm too old to live in this world. How funny, you may think you're very famous or so in the neighbourhood. However, once you think again, you realised that you're just a tiny being living in this mass community in the Earth. You are nothing.

I just don't feel like it when I thought of death. Once I'm dead, my mere existence will be just wiped off from this world. Well, that's from the scientific part of my thought. Religious speaking, do spirit really exist? If it does, will I become 1 after I'm dead? It's better if I think religiously, cos' I'll be able to exist afterlife, maybe wondering around thinking "What should I do next?". Well, that's before I got taken by the hell guards to atone for my sins I've done in my life. Now that's suffering.

I keep thinking and thinking and thinking of how to live forever? Will the technology in the future be high enough to put in memories and part of the world in a quantum server where we can live in there forever without dying? Quantum server. Yes, that's the idea. But how? How can we be alive in a form of data whereby our real body had already ceased functioning?

Oh cock! How can I resolute this thought? I don't want to die but I'm sure when that time comes, I'll die willingly. Sigh.

PS: This is year 2011, nearly 3 years from when I posted this. Now I do believes into supreme being that transcends human. And also ghosts. Haha!

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